


on a road to nowhere, but that's exactly where i want to be

by joltik



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1990s, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Rating May Change, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joltik/pseuds/joltik
Summary: Byleth's a 26 year old drifter who drives around the country in her dad's old pickup truck, picking up odd jobs and never staying in one place for long. One day, she picks up a hitchhiker who calls herself El. El is an enigma, her hair already going white despite being around the same age as Byleth and with a clear air of affluence about her, but well, if she wants to keep her past a secret, Byleth's not going to pry. She has wounds of her own that she's still healing from, after all.(aka the '90s roadtrip AU no one knew they wanted)
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 10
Kudos: 112





	on a road to nowhere, but that's exactly where i want to be

**Author's Note:**

> cw for weight/(unhealthy) diet talk in this chapter—no _direct_ references to disordered eating, but still potentially triggering. eventual discussion of abuse (primarily psychological/emotional), discussion of familial death/grief, and possibly cancer? (i haven’t actually decided how jeralt died in this fic yet, but he is dead)

The day that Byleth meets the hitchhiker starts off the same as any normal day. She’s finished with the work she was doing in town, so she checks out of the motel she was staying in and bids farewell to the owner, a delicate old lady who speaks very little English but who had been kind to Byleth during her stay, before taking off in Jeralt’s old ‘85 pickup truck. It’s mid-March, but the Southern Californian sun shines bright enough overhead for her to need her chunky prescription sunglasses, so she fumbles to take those out from the glovebox and puts them on at an intersection before merging onto the freeway. As usual, she’s not really headed anywhere in particular...her only destination is wherever the roads will take her.

It’s around 10 A.M. when she sees her standing off the side of the road, thumb raised. The first thing that catches her eye is her hair, pulled back in a red scrunchie: it’s a soft brown color, maybe dirty blonde, but there’s streaks of white running through it, even though by all appearances she’s around the same age as Byleth. The other thing she notices is that the woman is well-dressed; she’s wearing an oversized sweater and a pair of black jeans, but they look to be high quality, and this particular area is affluent, leading to the question of why she would be hitchhiking. But also, she looks...tired.

Byleth pulls over, reaching across the passenger seat to unlock the door, and the stranger peers in, looking somewhat dubiously at her suitcase and the limited space in the cab. “You can go ahead and put that in the bed,” Byleth says. “It’ll be fine.”

“The bed,” the hitchhiker says, confused.

“The back. You can just lift the cover.”

“Oh...of course that’s what you meant,” she says, looking somewhat abashed as she deals with her luggage and gets in. “My apologies. I don’t have much familiarity with this type of vehicle.”

“It’s okay,” Byleth says, starting up the truck once again as soon as her passenger has her seatbelt on. It’s quiet for several minutes as Byleth drives, aside from the sound of the motor and the country station she has playing at a low volume. (Soon, it’ll be out of range and go to static, and then she’ll have to either find a new station or just listen to whatever new station comes up, but she’s long since become used to that.) “...I assume you have a name?” Byleth eventually says, breaking the quiet.

“Oh...yes,” her passenger says. “You may call me...El, I suppose.”

“El,” Byleth says.

“Yes. And I’m assuming you have a name as well,” El says.

“I’m Byleth. Byleth Eisner.”

“Byleth. That’s an interesting name.”

“So’s El.” There’s another moment of quiet, and then Byleth says, “Where are you headed, El? I can’t promise I’ll go there, but I can at least take you partway, probably.”

“Oh, I’m...not headed anywhere in particular, really. Just...away from here. As far away as possible, preferably.”

“Ah. All right,” Byleth says. “It’s pretty dangerous to hitchhike, you know. What if I was someone dangerous?”

“You never know,” El says, looking out the window into the distance. “Maybe I’m the dangerous one.”

“Maybe,” Byleth admits. The radio signal statics out briefly, before coming back into focus. “I don’t think you’re dangerous, though.”

El hums. “I don’t think you’re dangerous, either.”

“Mm. I don’t think I am, either. But you never know.”

“That’s true of everything, I suppose,” El says. She’s quiet again for a few minutes. “You’ve asked me where I’m going, but I’m curious as to where you are headed as well. Other than north, clearly.”

“Hmm...nowhere in particular, really,” Byleth says. “Not unless you have anywhere in mind.”

“You...don’t have a destination in mind? Not home, or work, or someone to visit?”

Byleth shakes her head. “I don’t...have a home, exactly. Not anymore,” she says. “I kind of just...drift from place to place, wherever the road takes me.”

“...You’re an odd one, Byleth Eisner.”

“So I’ve been told.”

* * *

At about 12:30, they end up stopping for lunch at a small diner near Bakersfield. El gets out and walks to the back of the truck, frowning at the bed cover. “Is something wrong?” Byleth says, taking off her shades and putting them in the pocket of her windbreaker.

“...No, nothing’s wrong, per se, but...this cover doesn’t lock, does it?”

“It doesn’t, but I’m not worried about it. I don’t think anyone’s going to take anything.” El doesn’t look particularly reassured by this, so Byleth adds, “If you’re really concerned, you can bring your suitcase into the diner.”

El sighs. “I suppose you’re right,” she says, doing so. Some of the patrons give her odd looks, but ultimately they don’t seem to pay too much attention to either of them, which Byleth finds unsurprising given how close they are to the freeway. El picks a corner booth, sliding her luggage in before sitting down, and Byleth follows.

After a few minutes of looking over the menu, El says, “What do you typically order at this type of establishment?”

“Oh...I usually order four eggs, sunny side up, four slices of bacon, two sausages, a side of gravy and a side of salsa, and four slices of toast. Oh, and a coffee, black.”

El stares at her. “That’s...quite a lot of food for one person.”

“It was what my dad always ordered,” Byleth says with a shrug.

“I see.” El is quiet for a moment, continuing to stare at her menu. “I can’t say I’ve ever...developed much of a taste for such heavy foods,” she says. “Or coffee, although I had—have—a close friend who has always seemed to live off of the stuff. But for me...my only food-related vice has always been sweets.”

“Places like this usually have pretty good pancakes,” Byleth says.

“...Pancakes do sound good,” El says. She ends up ordering some flavored pancakes that look almost too sweet to Byleth, and that’s before El adds syrup. Still, she seems to enjoy it..for the first few bites, at least, before she pauses, staring at her food.

“...Is something the matter?” Byleth says, looking up from her third strip of bacon to study El’s expression. She looks...pensive, lost in thought.

“It’s just...I suppose I haven’t yet gotten used to having the freedom to eat whatever I might want to. For years, all of my meals were planned for me, the calories micromanaged...half the time, I’ve lived off SlimFast and salads. Or whatever diet was popular any given month.”

Byleth looks at her, up and down; as far as she can tell, El is really quite skinny. “You’re, uh…”

“I know. But...image was important,” El says, playing with her fork. She’s quiet for a long moment. “None of that matters now, and it never really mattered to me, personally. But...it’s the kind of thing that stays with you.”

“Mm…” Byleth says, not knowing how to respond.

“I’ll eat...however much of this I can bring myself to, but as tasty as it is, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it. Which is unfortunate, but. That’s just how it is.”

They’re both quiet for several minutes aside from the sounds of eating. Around them, they are surrounded by the typical sounds of a diner at this time of day: other customers talking, servers helping customers, the tinny sound of a television set above them at a low volume.

The sound from the television in particular is difficult to pick up without actively paying attention, and Byleth is tuning it out, but the words “Adrestian Industries, Inc.” randomly catch her attention. “I...feel like I’ve heard that name before. Adrestian Industries...what is that?”

El tenses. “It’s...they were originally a plastics manufacturing company, I believe, but they switched focus to computer manufacturing some years ago and had great success. That being said, in recent years, they have had a few major scandals and there were rumors of shady business practices...I would suspect that if you’ve heard of them, that would be why.”

“Hmm…”

“I would assume,” El says, pausing to take a bite of her pancakes, “that the reason why they are in the news currently is related to their new CEO...he’s under a great deal of pressure to turn things around for the company.”

“You know a lot about this.”

El looks pensive for a moment. “...the new CEO is a personal acquaintance of mine,” she eventually admits. “I will admit that we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but he’s a good man.”

Byleth blinks. “Oh...I see,” she says, returning to her meal. El having such connections isn’t a huge surprise, given the clear indications of affluence about her, but it does raise further questions about her background. Byleth has no intention to pry, however; El clearly has plenty of secrets, and if she chooses to open up to Byleth, she can do so on her own time.

It would be hypocritical for Byleth to expect that of anyone, when she herself has never been good at getting close to people.

* * *

They reach the Central Valley late in the afternoon, driving past farms full of cattle and orchards dotted white with almond blossoms in every stretch between cities. Byleth’s fiddling with the radio again, satisfied once she finds the local country station.

“Is this the music you prefer?” El says, her tone curious.

“I don’t have any particular preference,” Byleth says, “but it was my dad’s favorite.”

“Oh. I see…”

“If you’d prefer, we could listen to something else,” Byleth says.

“No, it’s not that I have a problem with it. It’s just not something I’m used to listening to.”

“What kind of music do you like, then?”

“...Truthfully, most of the music I heard at home in my childhood was of the...high art variety. Classical, orchestral, the opera, that sort of thing. I’ve always had a fondness for pop when I was able to listen to it, though, and in college I developed a taste for rock, punk, grunge, that whole scene.”

“...Really? I didn’t take you for the type,” Byleth says, amused.

“I dated someone who broadened my musical horizons,” El says, “and the fact that it would’ve annoyed my uncle to no end to know that I was listening to ‘trash’ like that was a big selling point.”

“I take it this uncle of yours is the stuffy type?”

El laughs. “You have no idea.”

Byleth lightly taps on the steering wheel as she drives, thinking. “I’d like to stop for the night pretty soon, before it gets dark. Find a motel or something, then take off in the morning, bright and early. Does that sound okay to you?”

“...That’s fine,” El says.

They end up stopping in a city that El, sounding quite amused, informs her is named after the Spanish word for “lard” (and Byleth adds “apparently studied Spanish in school” to the list of miscellaneous info she’s gleaned about her mysterious traveling companion.)

Byleth manages to find a motel that meets her standards—it’s certainly nothing high-end, but the rooms are affordable and it seems clean. By chance, they end up getting two rooms located in the same section of the motel, so the two of them walk to their respective rooms together.

“You...do this often, then?” El says, curious. “Driving aimlessly, and then...staying at places like this?”

“Yeah...I’m on the road most of the time, and then I stay the night at motels usually...or sometimes, I’ll sleep in the truck to save money.”

“I-in the truck? There’s...no space,” El says, her eyebrows arched.

“Sitting up, I mean. I have a neck pillow so it’s not that bad,” Byleth says, although El doesn’t seem to believe her. “Don’t worry, I’d never make you sleep like that.”

“That...wasn’t my concern,” El says, and Byleth shrugs. “At any rate...I can’t help but wonder about your occupation, if you don’t mind me prying. Since you travel so often, and since you said you weren’t heading somewhere for work.”

“I...don’t really have one, per se?” Byleth says, and El gives her an odd look, but she seems more curious than judgmental at this point, so she continues talking. “I...tend to just find odd jobs, where I can. I’ll find a place that seems promising, and I’ll try to find someone I can help out. Someone who needs help with construction, or repairs, renovations, that kind of thing. Someone who needs temporary help at their business. I’ve even done short-term tutoring, although I’m not very good at it. Then whenever the job’s done, I leave.”

“That’s...certainly a unique way to live your life, although I can’t imagine it’s a stable source of income.”

Byleth shakes her head. “It’s not about the money. Though I’m sure I’m gonna run out of money eventually...my dad left me some money, but I know that’s not going to last forever. I’ll have to figure out what I’m going to do when that day comes, I guess.”

“And while doing this...you haven’t...had to resort to prostitution, have you?”

“...No, but...in theory I wouldn’t be opposed, I guess?” El looks outright shocked at this, her cheeks immediately turning a bright shade of pink; it’s kind of cute, really. “Sex is sex, and it’s nice. But I’d have to be able to pick and choose my clients, and I’d have to be 100% sure they’re safe, so I guess it’s not really practical,” Byleth says with a laugh.

“I...I see,” El says, still flushed.

“Anyway,” Byleth says as she unlocks the door to her room, “I’ll see you in the morning? If you still wanted to come with me, I mean. I think I might go to Lake Tahoe for the day, then drive through Nevada the day after that and see where that takes me.”

“...All right. Good night, Byleth.”

* * *

They leave for Tahoe early in the morning. It takes about three hours to get there; fortunately, it’s been warm enough so far this March that there isn’t snow on the road, making for an easy drive. El steps out of the truck. She looks good today, Byleth notes; she’s wearing a simple cardigan, a gray peacoat, and brown corduroys, with her hair tied back in a simple bun. She frowns and gets out her suitcase again, and in this case, Byleth can’t blame her. “What...do you typically do when you come to places like this?” El asks.

Byleth watches a light gust of wind catch the loose bits of hair framing El’s face as she thinks over her answer. (Her own hair, loose, is definitely going to be a mess by the end of the day, but she’s not particularly concerned about that.) “Swim, sometimes,” Byleth says, and El tenses,.”but the water’s probably still too cold for that. I like fishing, mostly. Or just...relaxing. Relaxing’s the main purpose of coming somewhere like this, I think.”

“Relaxing, hmm…”

It doesn’t take long for Byleth to find what seems to be a good fishing spot and to set up her gear. El ends up sitting near her on the shore, pulling out a book from her bag to read, although Byleth feels her curious gaze on her occasionally.

“You...don’t need a fishing license for this?” El says eventually.

“I do,” Byleth says. “I have one.”

“In Nevada?”

“Nevada and California, actually.”

“You grew up around here, then?”

“Hmm...not ‘grew up,’ exactly, but I’ve lived in California and Nevada before. My dad and I moved around a lot when I was a kid,” Byleth says.

“I see,” El says, returning to her book.

They end up spending much of the day like this. Byleth fishes, releasing the fish she catches as she goes, and El reads or plays something on her Gameboy. As the sun’s starting to set, bathing the world around them in soft shades of pink and orange, El says, “You know, this is something I’ve never understood about fishing.”

“Hm?” Byleth says as she tosses her most recent catch back into the water, before glancing back over her shoulder at El.

“Catch and release...I understand why someone would catch fish if they were planning to eat it, or even to keep as a trophy, but I can’t help but wonder...what’s the point when you have nothing to show for your effort?”

Byleth mulls over the question, leaning back as she thinks. “The catch...isn’t the point, I guess? It’s more...the experience, the journey of it all. I might not have anything to show for it, but I’ll always have the memories.”

“...I see.”

“This must be terribly boring to you, El. Sorry,” Byleth says, glancing back at her again, and El glances back at her, a small smile on her face.

“Not so much as you might think,” she says. “You were right, this has been...quite relaxing, actually.”

When the sun’s not quite gone but the chill’s definitely setting in, Byleth says, “...We should probably figure out where we’re going to stay for the night,” as she buttons up her flannel for warmth. “It gets pretty cold here at night.”

“Mm...so I can tell,” El says.

* * *

It’s not exactly peak tourist season, but unfortunately, the first motel they go to turns out to be nearly full for the night. “I have one room left,” the lady at the desk says, “but it does have two beds.”

“We could try somewhere else,” Byleth says.

El hesitates. “I...don’t mind sharing a room, necessarily,” she says eventually, “but I can’t promise I’ll be a good roommate.”

Byleth ends up mulling over those words for the rest of the night, finally understanding her meaning when she’s woken up at around 3 A.M. by the sound of El tossing and turning, mumbling things in her sleep that Byleth can’t quite make out. Byleth lies in her bed, awake, wondering if she should say or do something, until the noises stop and El lies there, just as awake as Byleth is.

“...Does that happen every night?” Byleth says eventually, into the silence.

“...Not every night, but frequently. Sorry for waking you up,” El says.

“It’s okay, ‘s not your fault,” Byleth mumbles sleepily. “Should I have woken you up or something? Is there anything I could have done?”

“...Not really. I don’t think there’s anything to be done about it but waiting for it to pass.”

“Is it...do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” El says. “I’d really rather not.”

“Sorry,” Byleth says. “I’m...sorry you have to go through this at all.”

“I’m used to it,” El says, sounding bitter. “As I said, however, I am sorry for waking you. And...I appreciate the concern. Good night, Byleth.”

“Mm...Good night, El.”

**Author's Note:**

> i am...notoriously bad at chapter fics, but also i'm already in love with this fic, and i actually have a plan for once! so hopefully i will actually be able to finish
> 
> this will be probably about 9 chapters, give or take? possibly with an epilogue, but who knows
> 
> also! this fic may include sexual content later on. it probably won't be a big element regardless, since i'm going for a pretty slowburn pacing, but i haven't yet decided whether or not any sexual content is going to be in the actual fic or side stories if i write it at all. if you have an opinion, please fill out this form https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1TiXNXQd8c52xCiWlgjlhBhREN8GTgVZP4ypJSCnYNIU
> 
> if you have any suggestions for characters you'd like to see/where you think certain characters would live, feel free to let me know in the comments! there's some characters i either already have a plan for or already know where they are/what their deal is (you can probably guess a couple from this chapter), but there's far more characters i haven't really thought about yet. as far as locations go, the plan right now is for it to be primarily west coast/midwest, unless i end up radically changing my (literal) roadmap ~~again~~
> 
> i think that's about it! i'm tinyjoltiks on twitter, if you want to follow me on there, otherwise see you next chapter


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